Ew.

This may be the most horrifying video I've seen in a long time:

The fact that Katie Holmes has no stage presence and can't hold a tune to save her life is the least of my problems with this routine. Any attempts to display sexual attraction between these two makes me throw up in my mouth. I have the distinct feeling, too, that Katie Holmes has been rehearsing this routine in her bedroom since she was a teenager (the amateurish performance just screams high school musical), around the same time that she first dreamed about marrying Tom Cruise. Gross. And yet, as if I were watching a train wreck, I can't look away. This video may almost be as bad as "2 girls 1 cup." (Don't go looking for that video if you don't know what it is. Seriously.)