Fucking hell, it's been more than two years since I've updated this thing? And after I had expressed regret over the last hiatus? I suppose I should offer some explanations:
1.) Clearly one of the primary preoccupations of this blog has been my love life, which means that it's really more fun for me to write (and for readers to read) when my love life is a shitshow. Sometime after my last post, I managed to fall in love with a dude who ended up becoming my boyfriend for a while. And while the ups and downs of a relationship can also make for fun blogging fodder, this boyfriend found out about the blog's existence through a friend who accidentally mentioned it, and so I didn't feel compelled to complicate the relationship by documenting it in real-time. I've made that mistake before, where you think you're being cute and reflective, or you're just working some shit out and operating under the assumption that you're free to be honest and open, and then one day the dude zones in on one stupid thing you wrote about appreciating a manicure on a man, and then he's like, "Why didn't you ever tell me that you think my hands are ugly?," and even though his calluses and hangnails are among the many peccadilloes that you've grown to love, you find yourself breaking up over a litany of complaints you both have been bottling up.
So while the boyfriend and I had avoided that situation, our relationship ended anyway, as relationships do. It's been about a year since the breakup, and I've been more than okay about it for some time now. And while I certainly did a lot of private journaling during the relationship and its aftermath, I don't know yet if I'll write about it here. Maybe, because, shit, it's my life material, and I'm sure he's not reading this. And even if he were, well, I really don't care.
2.) Life as an Asian Girl Professor just gets more and more fucked up. As in, getting-sexually-harassed-by-Old-White-Dude-senior-colleague fucked up. So around the time I stopped writing last, I was getting supremely paranoid about whether anyone would be able to figure out my identity, and whether any of my colleagues was reading this blog. So just to be safe, I unofficially retired it. This fear hasn't changed. But I guess my willingness to stay silent has, because, seriously, academia is one fucked up place for women of color, and someone needs to be writing about it.
So in honor of the lunar new year (which is the more fun new year anyway), I hereby resurrect this blog. May the gods bless me with the energy to live out new adventures and the inspiration to tell the tale!
Or I might just kill this blog again. Who knows.
