Marriage, According to Mom and Dad

My dad's latest hobby is homemade karaoke. He takes an HDMI cable and connects his laptop to the 46'' television in the family room. My dad, who to this day has trouble operating a VCR, managed to figure out how to hook up his speakers and subwoofer to this setup as well. He goes onto YouTube and searches for karaoke videos of songs by artists he grew up listening to: the Ronettes, the Bee Gees, James Brown, Elvis, etc. My dad goes through this performance twice a day now: when he gets up in the morning and before he goes to bed at night.

My mother, of course, is not thrilled by my dad's hobby. She thinks he sounds awful. She's embarrassed by the idea that the neighbors may hear him. She's generally averse to any kind of behavior she finds absurd (of which my dad has plenty). So she'll retreat into the opposite end of the house, in the master bedroom, and watch her Taiwanese news programs and soap operas from the giant TV they have in there.

I called my parents tonight to see what they were up to. I happened to call when my dad was in the middle of a karaoke session.

Dad: Hello?

Me: Hi, Dad!

Dad: Oh hi!

Me: [hearing noise in the background] Whatcha up to?

Dad: Hold on a moment! I have to finish this song. I looked at the skies, running my hands over my eyes! And I fell out of bed! Hurting my head from things I'd said...

Dad, with Me singing along over the phone: Til I finally died! Which started the whole world living!! Oh, if I'd only SEEN! THAT THE JOKE WAS ON MEEEE!!!! [laughing]

Dad: Hehe, mom's finding sanctuary in the master bedroom.

Me: Poor mom.

Dad: Oh, and I found a really good video today that has applause in it! So I feel like Elvis entering the building! And when the song is done, I hear the applause and I bow in front of the TV. And that makes mom even more pissed. She asks me, "Why do they applaud? Why don't they say that you suck?" HAHA!

Me: You bow in front of the TV.

Dad: Yeah. And it would be even better if James could make me a nice outfit like Elvis. Because usually I'm just in my underwear. Haha! Or Elton John! Some nice glasses and a white suit and a bow tie. HAHAHA!

Me: Mom would love that.

Dad: Oh, you know, she asked me if we could go to Reno to see her favorite Taiwanese pop star perform...

Me: Yeah, she mentioned that to me.

Dad: So I said, sure, we can go. But only if she lets me do my karaoke everyday. So she said yes.

Me: Really? That doesn't seem to be an even exchange, Dad. You take her to one concert and she has to put up with your singing everyday?

Dad: Well, she has to put up with me everyday anyway, so singing or no singing, what's the difference? Hahaha!

END.