The Limits To My Fierceness

So yesterday I wrote a post about channeling my inner fierceness through a Salt-n-Pepa ringtone. I should probably provide a disclaimer saying that, most of the time, my ringtone is actually set to this:

Oh yes. That's the Lea Michelle cover of the Barbra Streisand classic, "Don't Rain On My Parade" from the super cool series, Glee. Apparently, when I'm not pretending that I'm a black woman, I'm pretending that I'm a gay man.

Now, this song is not lacking in fierceness. I mean, you don't want to mess with Barbra Streisand. She will cut you. And there are few moments in music recording history more tingle-inducing than when she belts, "Hey Mr. Arnstein, HERE I AAAAAAMMMM!!!!" Those pipes are no joke.

Still, this is not a ringtone that inspires awe and admiration. Nor is it one to be used on campus. Last week, I was in my office hours with three students who wanted help on their research papers. I had forgotten to put my phone on silent, and all of a sudden comes blaring, "Don't tell me not to live, just sit and putter..." My students immediately recognized it and exclaimed, "Glee!"

Maybe that scored me some coolness points with my apparently very dorky students, but still, that was kind of embarrassing. Though perhaps less embarrassing than had I said, "Yes, but have you seen Funny Girl with Barbra Streisand???"

This is how I know I will never be cool. After I shared with my brother the website that my friend shared with me, Audiko.net, we immediately started a war of sending each other embarrassing ringtones. His first hit for me: "Souper Trouper" by ABBA. But not the ABBA original. The cover from the embarrassingly bad movie, Mamma Mia!, featuring Meryl Streep. For some reason, my brother takes great delight in the idea of me having to listen to, "I was sick and tired of everything, when I called you last night from Glasgow..." every time someone calls me.

I think I trumped him, though. This was my gift/revenge:

His response: A text message that simply said, "U suck."

Now, the deal is that if I use his ringtone, he'll use mine. At least for each other's IDs. But I don't think that's going to happen. Even we have limits to our dorkiness.